I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
