Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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