i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
