He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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