So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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