I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
