you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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