We're facebook friends in real life
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
That's how pantless uber rides happen
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
