if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
sex in a hospital.. check
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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