Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.