Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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