it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
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Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.