doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
