Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.

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  (847): Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one. http://tfl.nu/00mh
  Replies (4) Good night (1603) Bad night (2012)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market

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  (586): I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market http://tfl.nu/4otb
  Replies (1) Good night (790) Bad night (922)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water

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  (301): he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water http://tfl.nu/w3uv
  Replies (10) Good night (901) Bad night (3594)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"

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  (563): I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical" http://tfl.nu/2xah
  Replies (20) Good night (1236) Bad night (3056)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.

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  (514): I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened. http://tfl.nu/bvmz
  Replies (154) Good night (564) Bad night (2723)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.

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  (214): You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight. http://tfl.nu/qr87
  Replies (23) Good night (9345) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter

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  (440): Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter http://tfl.nu/frpq
  Replies (8) Good night (2437) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..

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  (616): i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent.. http://tfl.nu/zm5m
  Replies (17) Good night (2462) Bad night (1060)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.

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  (618): some guy just burried his vomit in the sand. http://tfl.nu/hqvi
  Replies (7) Good night (1289) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.

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  (602): I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now. http://tfl.nu/tbsd
  Replies (24) Good night (2276) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it

  (708): View more from Illinois

  So thats why that cop beat my ass?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Probably

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  (630): You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it (708): So thats why that cop beat my ass? (630): Probably http://tfl.nu/659z
  Replies (7) Good night (2274) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.

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  (724): I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas. http://tfl.nu/a06u
  Replies (8) Good night (726) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.

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  (914): Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing. http://tfl.nu/rvdd
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"

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  (707): WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!" http://tfl.nu/knx8
  Replies (5) Good night (298) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..

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  (631): Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too.. http://tfl.nu/0nji
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (405)

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