Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

well I can't set my house on fire every night

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, you need to talk to your mom

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

wtf?

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.

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(913): View more from Kansas

she is the kim kardashian of front butts

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(214): View more from Texas

Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.

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