I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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