So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
