Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize