i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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