Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
