You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We got so high we made milksteak
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
