Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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