someone threw a dead crab at me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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