I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Dear god my vagina.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
