I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
