I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize