I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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