you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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