Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
