Swine flu. Run for my life!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
