I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
