Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
