Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
