Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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