He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
tell me about the fingering
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