i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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