Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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