Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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