I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
