Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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