she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
