with your own penis?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize