she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
