I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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