i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
