Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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