I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
