There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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