Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
