so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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