If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
