There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize