so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
