your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
