I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
