I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Also, beer. Big fan.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize