i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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