Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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