Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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