His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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