We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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