I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
