y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
