i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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