This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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