we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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