so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
