Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize