that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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