considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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