Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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